Although it was nine years ago, that Sunday morning is still vividly etched in my memory. A few years earlier my heart had been captivated by the life-giving understanding that God’s intention was that the lives of Jesus’ followers were to be deeply transformed into the likeness of Jesus himself. Since I had been a Christian for decades and seminary trained as well, you might wonder why it took so long for me to come to this realization. But that’s a story for another time. Having discovered the Father’s intention of transformation, I had given myself over to that process with great intentionality. I read books on the topic of spiritual formation and listened to gifted teachers whose lives evidenced that deep transformation was indeed possible. I began practicing a variety of spiritual disciplines, some familiar and some new, all with the desire to see the hidden recesses of my life touched and transformed by the love and character of Christ. After the process was under way in my own life, my Sunday sermons began to focus on topics related to spiritual formation. What could be more inviting than these amazing realities? People’s hearts were stirred, hope was ignited, everything was moving along nicely—until that one Sunday morning.

I still remember the faces looking back at me as I unpacked God’s loving plan for life transformation and the part that spiritual practices play in the process. Over the previous months people had been engaged and receptive to my words, but something was different that morning. The light had been extinguished, the joy had subsided, the hope had faded, and a subtle sense of discouragement was visible in their eyes. What had happened? What had gone wrong? Could anything be more exciting than the topic of transformation? I did not know it then, but I was soon to discover that we had fallen though the trapdoor of transformation.

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01.  What Is the Trapdoor?

As I studied and read about spiritual formation I encountered definitions of formation that emphasized both character transformation and transformation into Christlikeness. Spiritual disciplines were always linked to the transformation process as vital elements in the formational journey. The process could be depicted as follows (figure 1):

It is completely understandable that believers want to see their lives progressively transformed into the likeness of Jesus. In that pursuit it would be natural to focus our attention on character transformation. We begin to incorporate various spiritual disciplines into our lives, but our focus is on the end result of character transformation; and in doing so we begin to creep toward that trapdoor.

The issue is, if our primary focus is on character transformation, we have actually made ourselves and our progress in the formation process the center of our attention, which undermines our formation. Focusing on ourselves sets us up to fall through the trapdoor.

For some, focusing on self can result in the emergence of a subtle sense of pride. Thrilled by the Spirit’s work in our lives, we compare notes with others’ journeys. We might even wonder why everyone’s life is not being impacted as quickly as ours. This attitude is clearly a failure to see that “all is grace” in the formational journey, and left unchecked can impede the Spirit’s work.

For a second and larger group of people, the trapdoor of focusing on self becomes a reminder of how little progress has taken place in their journey. Even though there is progress to be thankful for, the focus on self is a continual reminder of how much work is left to be done in being shaped into the likeness of Jesus. One truth of the spiritual journey is that the longer we are on the path the more we begin to see attitudes and motivations that previously we were unaware even existed. By continuing to compare our lives with the life of Jesus, to evaluate and grade ourselves either positively or negatively by how much “progress” has been made, we invite discouragement and frustration into our lives.

Some people will buckle down and try harder by practicing the disciplines with greater intensity and regularity. However, the end result of this effort is often increased frustration over the slow, measured pace of transformation. Soon the question arises, “Why practice something that does not produce the advertised results? Am I just not doing them right? Do I just need to try harder? Are the disciplines somehow defective?” This experience can lead to an abandonment of the disciplines altogether. I believe this was where many people in my church found themselves on that fateful Sunday morning. They had been captivated by the prospect of a deeply transformed life, but as they made their way down that path the focus on themselves and their progress dropped them through the trapdoor and into deep discouragement.

I do not believe the problem lies in the spiritual disciplines or even with one’s practice of them. Rather, the problem is a misplaced focus in the formation process. When we are preoccupied with grading and evaluating how we are doing in the formation process, we are giving our attention to the wrong thing. Thomas Merton was correct when he wrote,

 

We become saints not by violently overcoming our own weakness, but by letting the Lord give us the strength and purity of his Spirit in exchange for our weakness and misery. Let us not then complicate our lives and frustrate ourselves by fixing too much attention on ourselves, thereby forgetting the power of God and grieving the Holy Ghost.Thomas Merton, Life and Holiness (New York: Herder and Herder, 1963), 31–32.

 

This fixation on ourselves can result not only in discouragement and frustration, but it also robs us of the joy and interior freedom that God desires for us to experience in our relationship with him. Teresa of Ávila encountered a similar situation in her dealings with her fellow Carmelite sisters:

 

If we are always fixed on our earthly misery, the stream will never flow free from the mud of fears, faintheartedness, and cowardice. I would be looking to see if I’m being watched or not; if by taking this path things will turn out badly for me; whether it might be pride to dare to begin a certain work; whether it would be good for a person so miserable to engage in something so lofty as prayer; whether I might be judged better than others if I don’t follow the path they do. . . . Oh, God help me, daughters, how many souls must have been made to suffer great loss in this way by the devil! These souls think that all such fears stem from humility. And there are other things I could mention. The fears come from not understanding ourselves completely. They distort self-knowledge; and I’m not surprised if we never get free from ourselves, for this lack of freedom from ourselves, and even more, is what can be feared.Teresa of Ávila, The Interior Castle, The Classics of Western Spirituality (New York: Paulist Press, 1979), 43–44.

 

So, if centering our attention on the progress of character transformation can lead to a trapdoor, what should capture our attention as we pursue Christlikeness? What focus will keep us moving ahead safely in spiritual formation?

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02.  Avoiding the Trapdoor

To avoid the trapdoor, we must focus our hearts and minds on our ever deepening union with God in Christ. We are to be captivated by the splendor and beauty of the triune God as we pursue spiritual formation.

Some have highlighted the importance of union with Christ by stating that it is the central truth of the entire doctrine of salvation.John Murray, Redemption: Accomplished and Applied (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1955), 170. Christians are not just trying to imitate Christ’s life and teaching; we are to be personally experiencing the risen Christ living in us and manifesting himself through us. Our relationship with him can be characterized by a deep connectedness. It is through this union with God that we are transformed into the image of Christ.

While union with God is a doctrinal assertion, it is more than a point of theology. It is intended to be an experiential reality in our lives that deepens as we grow closer to Christ. As we focus our attention on deepening our union with God, transformation into the likeness of Jesus will be the natural outcome.

Jesus spoke of this dynamic in John 15, where he called his followers to learn to abide and continually deepen their relationship with him. The result of maintaining that focus is fruitfulness, or in other words, having the likeness of Jesus’ character formed in us.F. F. Bruce, The Gospel of John (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1983), 310.

Character transformation is the natural byproduct of spiritual formation. And the transformation comes as a result of fixing our attention on Christ himself. The process can be illustrated like this (figure 2):

Deepening our union with God is really about making the transforming discovery of the incredible depth, richness, and overwhelming reality of how close our union with God actually is as a result of receiving the Father’s love through Christ. It is not just getting to a new place of intimacy through gritted teeth and struggle; it is more like walking through a doorway and seeing the immensity of what is ours in Christ. It is like reaching the top of a hiking trail and thinking you have reached the summit, only to find unexpected and inviting vistas spreading out before you. As we discover and experience God’s great love for us and move ever closer to the Father, we learn to rest in his love and allow it to saturate our hearts and minds. This process cannot help but impact our character.

Paul’s prayer at the end of Ephesians 3 is an invitation to an ever-deepening union with God:

 

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God (Ephesians 3:16–19 NLTScripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Streams, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved., emphasis added).

 

Paul prays that we would have an ever-growing understanding and experience of the love of God. Although believers will never be able to exhaust the entirety of God’s love, we are encouraged to pray continually for a deeper experience of it in our lives.

Some might surmise that giving all this attention to experiencing God’s love is intended to give hope to those who suffer from what is often termed “Catholic guilt.” I was raised in the Roman church and understand the term. I also am familiar with the concept of “scruples.” The thought behind developing or maintaining scruples is usefulness of the feeling of hesitation that occurs when you think something may be wrong. However, when a person gives undo weight to an accusatory conscience, the result may be anxiety and unfounded fear that something in their life may be sin that in fact is not sin at all. After having pastored in a Protestant church for twenty-five years and listened to others’ soul journeys in spiritual direction for nine years, while adding my personal journey into the mix, I can confidently say that guilt and scruples are not the exclusive domain of the Catholic Church. Evangelical guilt and scruples are living realities within Protestantism as well. As I sit with people in spiritual direction, the runaway winner in terms of what hinders people from experiencing God deeply is their inability to access and experience God’s love at a personal level.Helpful resources for moving into a deeper experience of God’s love are two works of David Benner: Surrender to Love and The Gift of Being Yourself. It is the experience of God’s love at ever-deepening levels that transforms and frees us to worship, love, and serve our Creator and Redeemer simply out of gratitude and reverence for his graciousness towards us. God’s love is the nutrient-rich soil that allows our souls to fully blossom in our relationship with Christ.

In the prologue to his work The Soul’s Journey into God, Saint Bonaventure summons to this journey “those wishing to give themselves to glorifying, wondering at and even savoring God.”Bonaventure, The Soul’s Journey into God, The Classics of Western Spirituality (New York: Paulist Press, 1978), 56. As I read his words I hear the echo of David from Psalm 27, “One thing I have asked from the Lord, that shall I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to meditate in His temple” (verse 4 NASBScripture quotations marked (NASB) are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.lockman.org)). Do we wonder at and savor God? Experiencing God’s love draws us into that place.

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03.  Fixing Our Attention on God

David’s words in Psalm 139 point to the priority of fixing our attention on God. After spending the first eighteen verses meditating on the magnificence of God, David concludes by asking God to search his heart and highlight any areas that are offensive to God. The order in which the psalm unfolds is deeply important. The focus of David’s attention is not on his areas of weakness. He is enthralled and caught up in his glorious God, which then leads to a desire for character change.

David is not the only one who saw holiness result from adoration. The writer of Hebrews was never shy about calling his readers to a life of holiness. Chapter 12 opens with the exhortation, “let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us” (verse 1 NLT). The writer then supplies the process that we can take to ensure success: “We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith” (verse 2 NLT). It is through focused attention on the goodness and beauty of Christ that we are enabled to run the race with endurance. Evelyn Underhill aptly states that the primary condition that is to govern a person’s spiritual life is “the unspeakable perfection, beauty and attraction of God, absolute in His independent splendor, and calling forth our self-oblivious adoration.”Evelyn Underhill, The Spiritual Life (Harrisburg, PA: Morehouse Publishing, 1955), 66.The perfection, beauty, and attraction of Jesus are a powerful deterrent to the trap of focusing on ourselves.

Eugene Peterson adds his voice regarding the necessity of keeping Christ, and not ourselves, as the central focus in the process of formation:

 

Spiritual formation places Jesus at the center to keep us out of the center. Jesus keeps us attentive to the God-defined, God-revealed life that we are created to live. The amorphous limpness so often associated with spirituality is given skeleton, sinews, definition, and shape by Jesus. The Spirit that conceived Jesus in Mary’s womb (Luke 1:31, 35) will also conceive Jesus in us (Gal. 4:19). Jesus is the central and defining figure in spiritual formation. . . . When we become more interested in ourselves than in the Spirit forming the life of Christ in us, we typically attempt to take over the work of formation, which always results in malformation.Eugene Peterson, “Spirituality / Spiritual Formation,” Dictionary for Theological Interpretation of the Bible, Kevin J. Vanhoozer, ed. (Grand Rapids: Baker Academic, 2005), 768.

Please recognize that in highlighting union with God as the focal point in the formation process, I am not saying that we will never need to give attention to character issues in our lives. The New Testament calls us to live in a way that reflects our new life in Christ (Ephesians 4:17–5:21; Galatians 5–6; Colossians 3:1–17; 1 Peter 2:1–12; and 2 Peter 1:3–11). Nonetheless, as we press into that life and address character concerns, we are empowered to continue in the struggle by contemplating the life and loveliness of Jesus.

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04.  The Object of Our Attention

As we wind up these considerations, let us listen to voices from the distant and near past that encourage us to make God, not ourselves, the object of our attention. The anonymous author of The Cloud of Unknowing is a trustworthy guide when he instructs the reader:

 

So you who set yourself to be a contemplative as Mary was, choose rather to be humbled under the wonderful height and worthiness of God, which is perfect, rather than under your own wretchedness, which is imperfect. That is to say, take care that you make the worthiness of God the object of your special contemplation, rather than your own wretchedness.The Cloud of Unknowing, The Classics of Western Spirituality (Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press, 1981), 168.

Thomas Merton provides well-informed instructions for us as well:

To “be perfect” then is not so much a matter of seeking God with ardor and generosity, as being found, loved, and possessed by God, in such a way that his action in us makes us completely generous and helps us to transcend our limitations and react against our own weakness. . . . It is only because we have Christ dwelling in us that we can now satisfy the demands of the law. But the way of our doing so is to fix our eyes not on the law, but on Christ. We must occupy our hearts not with the thought of arduous and cold obligations which we do not fully understand, but with the presence and love of the Holy Spirit who enkindles in us the love of good and shows us how to “do all things in the name of Jesus Christ.” The Christian way of perfection is then in every sense a way of love, of gratitude, of trust in God.Merton, Life and Holiness, 31, 83.

 

I hope you realize that this is not a theoretical exercise for me. From both personal and pastoral experience I have seen the life-draining impact that occurs when we fix our attention on ourselves while pursuing spiritual formation. In contrast, I have seen the life-giving freedom that comes from making God alone the focal point of our life. I encourage each of us to fix our vision on the only ones who are worthy of our undivided attention; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Perhaps Eugene Peterson has said it best: “Fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out” (Romans 12:2 The MessageScripture quotations marked (The Message) are from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson, copyright (c) 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved.).