Conversatio Divina

The Strange Gifts of Waiting

Mariah Velásquez
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Table of Contents

  1. 01.  Introduction
  2. 02.  Recognizing Dependency
  3. 03.  Opening to Wonder
  4. 04.  Suggested Practices
  5. 05.  Suggested Reading

In that region there were shepherds living in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.  But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid; for see—I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger.’ – Luke 2:8-12

01.  Introduction

Driven by consumerism, there is a nearly manic message in December to, “Buy! Buy! Buy!” Anxiety over finding the right, meaningful gift rises as the days pass and the 25th approaches. It often feels like a season that needs to be controlled and survived rather than experienced.

As we have discussed over the past few weeks, Advent is a season of waiting. As Tish Harrison Warren encourages, “Advent asks us to decelerate, be still, and rest. Advent then is unavoidably countercultural.”Tish Harrison Warren, Advent: The Season of Hope (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2023), 80. While waiting is a part of life, it also makes many in North America extremely uncomfortable. We hide behind the next great deal and quickly delivered boxes to avoid the inevitability and difficulty of waiting. But what might we lose by attempting to rush past the wait?

02.  Recognizing Dependency

This past year has felt like a very long layover in an airport for me. I have waited for lab results, waited for my name to be called in literal “waiting rooms,” waited for new medications to arrive. I have waited for renewed energy and clear-headedness. And still, the waiting is not over. This year of endless waiting has not been easy. Many days tears of frustration and discouragement fall. At the same time, I have begun to wonder, are there strange kinds of gifts in seasons of waiting that we cannot find any other way?

While in this season of new limitations and uncertainty, I have found a slower pace. Not moving frantically from one activity to the next has opened space to ponder larger questions, to take daily walks, to be present in my neighborhood, to hold others’ stories compassionately. I have noticed shifting clouds and attempted to capture them with water and paint. These have all been unexpected gifts.

In the waiting, I have come face-to-face with the stark reality that I am not in control. And perhaps, that is also a strange and unexpected gift. Often in seasons of waiting, we feel powerless. What if part of the purpose of waiting is to become reacquainted with our dependency on and need for God? If we arrived at Christmas without Advent, we might not recognize this. A baby born from an unwed mother amidst smelly animals might not be flashy enough to grab our attention. We might forget our very real need for a Good Shepherd and forget to look for one.

03.  Opening to Wonder

Unexpectedly, allowing ourselves to sit in a season of waiting—not rushing, not accomplishing, not fixing—begins to create space within us. Acknowledging that we are not in control allows us to pause our frantic splashing around and instead lay back and float in the water. We begin to have the capacity to look at the world with reverence and wonder. David Benner says,

“Reverence for life encourages openness and awe. It makes room for each person or thing to be encountered in their own uniqueness. When all of life is treated as sacred, it becomes possible then to experience it as sacred, and as this happens wonder begins to burst upon us.”David G. Benner, Soulful Spirituality: Becoming Fully Alive and Deeply Human (Grand Rapids, MI: Brazos Press, 2011), 112.

Releasing this false sense of control has allowed me to be attentive to my young children in a new way and the wonder that comes so naturally to them. One evening, I set out twinkling lights in the bedroom. My five-year-old daughter walked into the dark room and spontaneously whispered, “wow.” The dancing light inspired in her awe, wonder, and expectation.

Perhaps it was not a mistake that some of the first to greet this new King were outside, staring at the stars and listening to sheep bleating. They were not in a hurry to get somewhere else, to be anything else. They were not performing or trying to control their lives. They were simply being faithful in the moment. They were open to being surprised by wonder when the light of the world arrived.

Will you join me, in these last few days of Advent, in hopeful waiting? As Sylvie encouraged us at the beginning of Advent, do not put baby Jesus in the manger yet. Watch the stars and wait. Perhaps you, too, will find a Strange Gift in the waiting.

04.  Suggested Practices

  • Sit in the discomfort of waiting. Do not wish everyone a Merry Christmas yet. RSVP “no” to another Christmas party and sit in the dark with a candle. Notice what rises to the surface as you do.
  • Take a moment to remember what it is like to be a little child and to encounter the world with wonder. Go for a “toddler walk” through your neighborhood and be open to the wonder in the world around you. When you notice something interesting, stop and explore it!
  • Step outside in the dark and look up at the stars. Perhaps allow a whisper of “wow” to escape your lips.
  • When Christmastide finally comes, take a moment to lovingly place baby Jesus in the manger and celebrate the significance of the Incarnation!

05.  Suggested Reading

Footnotes

Mariah Velásquez is the associate director of the Martin Institute for Christianity & Culture at Westmont College.