IGNATIAN SPIRITUAL EXERCISES TRAINING (ISET)
2023-BLOCK FOUR – SESSION 34
THREE METHODS OF PRAYER AND LIVING THE FIFTH WEEK
[00:00:00] Russell: Welcome everybody. If I can just ask you to make sure that you’re on mute. Just a few more people are coming in.
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you find yourself. Welcome back to our normal meeting place on a Monday. Only two more of these left, and then we’ll be done for the year. I’m aware that we’re transitioning now towards the end. I’m going to hand you over to Cherie-Lynn, who’s going to lead us in prayer today. Thank you, Cheri-Lynn. [00:01:00]
Cherie-Lynn: Thanks, Russell. Welcome to this screen everybody. It’s really good to be with you again. I ask that you to settle yourself in now as we prepare ourselves for this time together. I ask that you sit, that your body is comfortable, and that you are well supported.
If it is helpful, you may want to take a few breaths in and out. Just allow your natural rhythm to settle in.[00:02:00]
I invite you to notice what it is that is occupying your thoughts and your heart as you come.
Don’t judge it. Do not try to deny what is there; just notice.
As you gather the things that you are noticing, you [00:03:00] may want to lay them out in front of Jesus, just as they are, much like one may gather seeds or petals or leaves. Just sprinkle them out before Jesus.
You may like to sense Jesus leaning forward And moving what you’ve noticed around a little, just gently sifting, [00:04:00] moving, portioning, gently and lovingly.
Jesus, you come to be with me. I feel it in my heart, and I sense you saying to me, peace, be with you[00:05:00] in your pressing days amid your fragmentation, within your loneliness, with your concern for others, among those you care for, around your many questions, peace be with you, for I am here.[00:06:00] I am with you. I offer you peace, my peace. Believe in me and my offer. I will take you far beyond all the fears, all the worries. I will sink your spirit in calm, in quiet,[00:07:00] in truth, in me.
Rest in Jesus, rest in Jesus, peace be with you.[00:08:00] [00:09:00] [00:10:00] [00:11:00]
Jesus says invitingly to you, “Peace. Peace be with you for I am here. I am with you. I offer you peace. My peace. Rest in me. Peace be with you. Amen.”
Russell: Thank you. very much, Cheri-Lynn, and I’m going to hand over to Trevor now, who will be leading us [00:12:00] today. Trevor, the screen is yours.
Trevor: It’s good to be with you from around the world, and If my knowledge of history serves me right, this is an important week in the country of the United States of America. I think it’s your Thanksgiving day coming up on Thursday. I just want you to know that we acknowledge that with you, and we share with you in your Thanksgiving and your gratitude and your joy.
I hope you have the outline before you. As you will see, we’ve called it the kind of—as we near the end—The Three Methods of Prayer and Living the Fifth Week and as usual, just want to come on board with a gentle introduction with two very broad points.
The one [00:13:00] is and I think by now we’ve come to see that the spiritual exercises really are a school of prayer. Perhaps I need to say also that they offer themselves as a school in many different areas. They offer themselves as a school of discipleship. They offer themselves as a school of discernment. They offer themselves as a school for apostolic ministry but also quite primarily, I think, offer themselves as a school of prayer.
And usually, as you know, when we’ve come to the end of the exercises, we’ve got a toolkit of prayer skills maybe or ways of prayer that most of us did not have at the beginning. In that toolkit of prayer, you will have things like, the act of the presence of God, looking [00:14:00] at God looking at us, the importance of preparing ourselves for prayer. We’ve looked at things like meditation with the three powers of memory, understanding, and will. We’ve looked at the importance of imaginative contemplation. We’ve looked at the importance of the examen. We’ve looked at the importance of repetition in prayer, and the importance of reviewing our prayer.
Now right at the end, we get another kind of addition to the toolkit as Ignatius refers us to what he calls the three ways of prayer or the three methods of prayer. And so, just to have on our landscape this school of being taught how to pray, how to relate to God in prayer. [00:15:00]
I think also as we come to the end of the exercises, and this is the other introductory comment that I want to make. I think one of the questions that will be in the air is how are we going to pray, post exercises? What is prayer going to look like when this particular prayer journey comes to an end? We shall see later that’s really an important question, and I think one that needs to be quite consciously addressed. It’s almost impossible to keep continuing praying as you’ve been praying for the past nine months, or 10 months, or 12 months, or 15 months, or however long it takes you to do the prayer and to do the exercises in daily life.
When I look back on my own experiences of doing the exercises in daily life, I often like to say, and I don’t think I’m overstating it, that I’ve [00:16:00] never prayed as much as I did during that time, either before or after the exercises. It was really a very concentrated time of prayer in my life, a very intense time of prayer—and hour in the morning, review 10 to 15 minutes every evening. It really was intense. I don’t think I’ve ever reached that intensity again in daily life.
So, the question is very often how do we move on in our life of prayer? Today we will see whether—and this is an open-ended question—we will see whether Ignatius’ three ways of prayer perhaps can be helpful for us as we look at the way ahead.
With those two introductory comments out of the way, I want to move [00:17:00] on to actually explore the three ways of prayer. If you have the text before you, and I’ve got Fleming before me. I don’t know who you will have before you, but if you could go to page 184, you will have the literal version of the three methods of prayer and on page 185, the contemporary reading of the three methods of prayer.
Before we look at the three methods themselves, let me just offer to you three very broad introductory comments
to the three ways of prayer. First of all, I’m intrigued, and I hope that the Jesuit in our midst is going to help [00:18:00] us out. I’m intrigued by Ignatius’ constant reference to three. He’s just always on about three—three strategies of Christ and of Lucifer, the three classes of people, three ways of humility and loving, and now he comes to three methods of prayer, and I’m intrigued as to why he always has a focus on three. I haven’t got an answer.
My only answer is that maybe—but he couldn’t have because the Methodists weren’t around, because when we were taught how to preach, we were always taught you have an introduction and then you have three thoughts to develop your theme. So maybe Ignatius was. a closet Methodist. That’s [00:19:00] my take on the three, but I’m open to correction on that one.
Then secondly, and Michael Ivens makes a point of this—basic to each of these three ways of prayer, and I’m quoting Michael Ivens now, “is the interrelationship of content and prayer.” In each of these ways of prayer, there is a relation between content and prayer. The content that Ignatius suggests gives direction to the prayer, and it also gives you some prayer matter. On the other hand, the prayer, when we enter into this with faith, [00:20:00] brings the content into the heart. Can you see the relationship between content and prayer?
You will notice that in each method of prayer, there is some content and then an invitation to prayer. The content giving direction to the prayer. The prayer bringing the content, as it were, into the heart so that the person praying is, as it were, penetrated by the content. It’s not just theoretical content.
And then thirdly, and this is rather significant. I find it significant and by the way, all these introductory comments are homebrewed. They really are just comments that come to my mind as I reflected [00:21:00] on them over the weekend and today. Significantly, none of these ways of prayer require scripture, and there’s no specific, as it were, kind of scriptural reference. And I just want to, as it were, notice that with you.
So, with those introductory comments about the three methods of prayer behind us, I want us now to look. Remember, each of these have content and they have prayer. The content gives direction to the prayer. The prayer brings the content into the heart.
Now, in the first method of prayer, the content that is suggested to the retreatant [00:22:00] would have been very, very well known to most retreatants in Ignatius day. They would have been very aware of the material in the first method of prayer.
The first method of prayer—here is the content—The Ten Commandments, seven deadly sins, three powers of the soul, and the five senses of the body and they would have been known to the retreatants because they were all categories in the confessional manuals of that time aimed at helping people into some kind of self-examination before they participated in the sacrament.
You will know that in most sacramental traditions, [00:23:00] before you share in the sacrament, It’s rather wise to do some self-examination. These were all categories for self-examination in those confessional manuals of that day, and they are offered, it would seem now, for our consideration and our meditation.
Notice secondly, as we look at the first method of prayer, that Ignatius gives some clear directions as we enter into the first way of prayer. Again, he always emphasizes the importance of preparation. [00:24:00] You don’t rush into your prayer. And so, I’m going to quote him, “Let the spirit rest a little bit. The person being seated or walking about. as may seem to him, considering where he is going and in what direction.” He suggests that this kind of preparation of, resting a bit, and you might either be seated or walking, or you’re going to now think about what you’re going to do. This preparation would be good for all the three ways of prayer. They would be good for all the three ways of prayer.
Then notice that he also suggests that there’s a grace, and here he suggests that we have a grace [00:25:00] when we do the first way of prayer, that we’re asking for the grace just for a deeper awareness of—and this seems obvious, doesn’t it—the Ten Commandments, Seven Deadly Sins, Three Powers, Senses of the Body. He suggests, as we meditate on this and as we reflect on this and as we consider this, we ask for a deeper awareness of how we have failed God and for help to amend our ways.
We would look at the Ten Commandments, which God invites us to keep, and we will think about and reflect on how we’ve been keeping them, or then we will look at the seven deadly sins. Commandments are to be kept; seven deadly sins are to be avoided. [00:26:00] How have we been avoiding these seven deadly sins within our own life?
Then a meditation on the use of our memory and our understanding and our will in our everyday life. And then, just to look at our senses; how have we been living in our body? Very embodied—Ignatius. And then at the end, he invites us into some colloquy and conversation with the Lord.
Do you just get a sense of the first way? Just get a sense of it—some preparation, some material for consideration and meditation, asking for a grace to be made more deeply aware of my life with God, and then seeking to make [00:27:00] amends as we move into tomorrow. And invited, obviously, to be in conversation with the Lord.
Now, this is personal and it’s homebrewed. As I reflected on this first way of prayer, these are some of the things that stood out for me. It seems that Ignatius is really keen that we are engaged in what I like to call continuing conversion; that we’re constantly walking on the road of conversion. I grew up with a slogan, “Once converted, Fully converted. I think that is not true.
Conversion is something that happens day by day by day by day, and certainly this first way of [00:28:00] prayer helps me to see this. I don’t know about you, but I feel a link with the first week. I just feel a link with the first week. Intuitively, this emphasis on being aware maybe of my own sinful tendencies, sinful actions, etc. It brings the first week to mind.
I feel a little bit of a link here with the examen, part of the examen. If you understand the classical structure of the examen, there is always that moment when I look at maybe how I’ve let God down and how do I want to amend my ways as I move into the future?
And then what also strikes me very strongly is the emphasis that Ignatius gives to our embodied life. [00:29:00] what have you been doing with your eyes? What have you been doing with your mouth? What have you been doing with your ears? What have you been doing with your touch and your taste? Very, very embodied. I find that quite life-giving and inviting to bring my whole sensual being into a greater faithfulness to God.
Are you happy for us to move on? I can see one nod of the head and I will take that as general. So, we move to the second method of prayer, 249 to 257. Notice the content here suggested for prayer. It’s that you are going to take a word or a [00:30:00] phrase that forms part of any traditional prayer structure—that you’re going to take a word or a phrase of any traditional prayer structure—The Lord’s prayer, the Take and Receive Prayer, the Call of the King Prayer—any traditional prayer.
You’re going to go through it, as it were, word by word and phrase by phrase. Now again, Ignatius points out the importance of preparation. You can kneel or be seated, whatever you find most conducive. Then he suggests, for example, as you [00:31:00] take the Our Father, you kind of go through it you, word by word or phrase by phrase. You linger with it, and you linger.
Now this is really important. This is really important. You linger for as long as we find meaning or helpful comparisons, and you can read about this in the way of prayer itself. You linger for as long as there is consolation, and then when you have found, as it were, what you’ve been looking for, what you’ve relished, what you’ve found consolation in, what there’s been meaningfulness, then you move on to the next word or to the next phrase. There’s a sense here of unhurriedness—unhurriedness. [00:32:00] You’re staying with it to get whatever you need, and once you feel you’ve been given what you need, you move on.
Now, as I reflect on this way of prayer, there’s some thoughts that come to mind. This prayer, I think, if I use a bit of language that some of us may be familiar with, it’s like dwelling in a prayer, or abiding in a prayer, or staying with the words. What I notice about it, and I’m struck by it, it’s a very unhurried way of prayer. It’s very unhurried.
In fact, Ignatius is quite particular. He says spend [00:33:00] about an hour doing this. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever done this, but it’s well worth giving it a bash. You can take any traditional prayer, like the Our Father or the Soul of Christ, or the Take and Receive.
I’ve done actually done it with two other prayers. In fact, I almost spent a year of my life in one prayer. I spent a year of my life in the Serenity Prayer, and then at the end of a year, I wrote a book about it. It came out of a year of just living in the Serenity Prayer—every day, word by word, [00:34:00] relishing, looking for consolation, looking for meaning, until it became part of my being.
This is my other observation, and I’ll end with this and then move on. While the first way of prayer kind of seems to stress consideration and reflection and meditation, this way of prayer seems to be moving a little bit more into a more contemplative way of prayer. Indeed, if you look at the language that Ignatius uses, he actually speaks of contemplating our father. He actually uses the word. [00:35:00]
So, you have a sense—in the first way of prayer, meditation, consideration, reflection. The second way of prayer, you have a feel of a bit of a movement of a more kind of relishing, savoring—just has that contemplative feel a little bit.
And we move on. Third way—258 to 260. Notice again the invitation to preparation, to relax, and to reflect on what we’re about to do. I think by now you will know that for Ignatius, preparation is absolutely essential if you want to grow in the Ignatian charism.[00:36:00]
This way of prayer is a little bit different to the second way of prayer. It involves our breathing, taking, for example, a word in, like Our Father, on the in breath, and then on the out breath, again, expressing Our Father. So, in breath, out breath, and then Ignatius quite delicately suggests that in between the in and the out breath, there is a simple moment of beholding—of beholding. Just a beholding of who God is and who we are.[00:37:00]
Now, as I reflect on this way, some things that come to my mind here is the absence here of any kind of consideration or meditation or reflection. There seems to be a real movement beyond thought, and reflection and meditation, and an invitation into some kind of beholding or gazing. I love that word gazing and I just want us to notice that for this moment.
I want us to notice thirdly, that in [00:38:00] this way of prayer, the emphasis is given to the body, particularly the place of breathing. Again, Ignatius. knows we’re not angels. He knows that we’re embodied beings and he doesn’t leave our bodies out of prayer and here you could almost say this is prayer that is really content light. It’s content light. There is far less content here than in the first way. or in the second way of prayer.
Now the big question is, and it’s a huge question, and at 20 minutes to the hour I’m taking a risk at even putting it out [00:39:00] there but let me put it out there. What did Ignatius intend for these three ways? What was his intention when he placed these three ways of prayer in the spiritual exercises?
Perhaps I can point out that these three ways of prayer are mentioned in the Fourth Annotation, and I’m going to read just the part that is relevant to you from the Fourth Annotation. Ignatius says—
The following exercises are divided into four parts. First of all, the consideration and contemplation on the sins.
Second, on the life of Christ, up to Palm Sunday. [00:40:00] Third, the passion of Christ our Lord. Fourth, the resurrection and ascension with the three methods of prayer.
In the literal translation of the Fourth Annotation, there is a clear reference to the three methods of prayer. I find it very striking that in the contemporary reading of the Fourth Annotation, David Fleming doesn’t mention them at all, and I would love to know why.
Now, when it comes to Ignatius’s intention for the Three Ways of Prayer, and as you begin to read the literature, and it’s a living tradition. It’s a tradition which is unfolding even today. Ignatian scholars, [00:41:00] Jesuits in particular do not seem to be in agreement. I have never met two Jesuits who agree with each other, and it would seem that there is a measure of disagreement around intention here.
Now again, I can only hint at the disagreement. On the one hand, you have people like David Fleming and Michael Ivens, who seem to place the three ways of prayer on the outside of the spiritual exercises.
I’ve already pointed out that in the contemporary translation of Fleming, of the Fourth Annotation, he simply leaves out any mention of the three ways of prayer. [00:42:00] In other places, he suggests that these ways of prayer are ideal for the active life, in other words, the life beyond the spiritual exercises.
He would argue that even though they are linked with the fourth week in the literal translation, they are linked not because they belong to the fourth week, but because the retreatant knows he’s coming or she’s coming to an end, and they are being offered as a resource for what is to come.
Let me quote Michael Ivens, who represents this position, and I quote him from page 179, Understanding the Spiritual Exercises. Let me just [00:43:00] read it to you. It’s an important quote.
Though the Fourth Annotation connects the three ways of prayer with the fourth week. [Now listen to this.] The ways are not integral to the spiritual exercises as such; they are included in the fourth week because they provide for the exercitant an impending return to ordinary life, while at the same time fitting in with the climate of the week itself.
So, Michael Ivens is saying, the person is coming to the end of the exercises. Here are some ways of prayer and they can be a wonderful resource as you go back into your life [00:44:00] as it were in the world, obviously after the 30-day experience.
On the other hand, let me quote another view. We have the view of a Jesuit by the name of Franz Jalics, who offers an alternative view, and I’m sure that we will make available to you a very good document that he writes. It’s called The Contemplative Phase of the Ignatian Exercises. We will make available that article.
Jalics does not see the three ways as a resource for the exercitant beyond the exercises, but as a way of relating [00:45:00] to our journey of prayer through the exercises themselves. And so, let me give you his argument with soundbites. He would argue that the first method of prayer is adapted to persons who are in the first week. They are going through the purgative way; the focus is on their sinfulness, first way of prayer, first week of the exercises.
He would argue that the second method of prayer corresponds very deeply to those dispositions in the second week when we relish, and when we savor, and when we look for the consolations as we contemplate the life of Jesus. And he would suggest that the second way of [00:46:00] prayer corresponds to this illuminative phase of the exercises.
Then he would say that the third method of prayer is the contemplative level, and he points out that there is a great difference here between the third way of prayer and the first and the second way of prayer. Total absence of consideration. You don’t look for concert for any consolation. There’s no relishing. There’s no savoring. And I’m going to quote him now—
We are left with is a mere gazing. that corresponds to a genuine contemplation. [00:47:00] Therefore, he says the intuitive, the unitive way. Gazing has taken the place now of reflection, meditation, consideration.
Remember in our Take and Receive Prayer, we give up our understanding, we give up our memory, and we give up our will. We move beyond memory, understanding, and will.
I don’t have time to explore this. I would love to, that in this gazing, this is not an objective experience. We don’t gaze at God as an object. God is never an object. It’s rather within our relations with God, with the Trinity, that we find ourselves [00:48:00] in a profound way of being, of simple gazing. There is an image less dimension to prayer.
How do we continue the exercises? How do we help people continue living the exercises after the exercises? How do we help them live the Fifth Week? Let me just make a few quick observations. It’s a very fragile moment. Please do not underestimate the fragility of this moment. All transitions are fragile. This is fragile. Up till now, the person you’ve been leading has been in a supportive environment. You’ve been encouraging them. [00:49:00] You’ve been listening to their prayer experiencing. You’ve been giving them prayer material. Suddenly that’s going to stop. It’s a very fragile moment and we just need to address that with the retreatant.
One of the things I often do with the retreatant is I ask them at the end, as we come to the end of your exercises, what are your longings for the Fifth Week? What do you long for? What are your fresh desires in your relationship with the Lord?
So, the retreatant may have some wonderings. They will be wondering now, what on earth am I going to use for my prayer material? You’ve been giving them prayer material. They’ll be wondering, where do I go now? What do I do now, and we can’t just leave a person hanging. [00:50:00] They’ll be wondering, I think, if they’ve had a good experience with you, they almost always say, can I still talk to you? Can I still phone you? Can we still get together? That is going to have to be very carefully navigated. It raises the question of ongoing spiritual accompaniment, and you may not have capacity for that, but it needs to be addressed. They’ll obviously be wondering about how they can continue to deepen their life in Christ. A of this, I think, needs to be an explicit part of closing transitional conversations.
What are some of the things that we can offer? You may remember when I gave the [00:51:00] reflection on the contemplation on the love of God. I said it’s a wonderful bridge into the fifth week. I often encourage the retreatant—why don’t you spend the next month or two just on the contemplation on the love of God, focusing on the gifts that God has given you, maybe doing point one again and again, becoming aware of how God lives in everything, in all creatures and plants and animals. Point two, becoming aware of how God is laboring for us, Point Three, and then that big Point Four, how God is giving God’s self to us in everything that we receive, the water we drink, the people we meet etc. I often say, stay close to the contemplation on the love of God for some time.
Another thing [00:52:00] that might be wise. I’m passing on what was passed on to me, that when I finish the exercises, my exercise giver said, Trevor you’ve most probably been in every part of the gospel, except one part; you most probably have not been in John chapter 14, John chapter 15, John chapter 16, and John chapter 17. Why don’t you spend the next three or four or six months just in John chapter 14 and the high priestly prayer of Jesus. Most probably you would not have given that to the retreatant during the exercises.
Then I find it very helpful to do a little co-discerning. What are they discerning in terms of the next good thing we can do with our head [00:53:00] and with our heart and with our hands. Is there something that you can read that may be helpful? What’s the next maybe movement of our hearts in prayer? Is there an action? How can we discern the next good thing to do with our heart and our head and our hands? Just—very specific, very specific, very practical.
And then lastly, I always wonder with the retreatant, how can we pass on the fire? I don’t know about you, but when I did the exercises, my heart was set on fire and I [00:54:00] made a commitment to God and to myself that I would live in the Ignatian charism because it had been so life-giving and I would give the rest of my life to studying the tradition, being part of the tradition, learning from the tradition, and I would pass on the fire. And what is the fire? The fire is the experience of the spiritual exercises. That’s what you are doing. You’re passing on the fire by offering the exercises.
So, may I sign off with the language of [00:55:00] Ignatius. Go and set the world on fire. Amen.
Russell: Thank you very much, Trevor. Just before you go and set the world on fire, we have some reflection questions for you. Pam has kindly put them in the chat. They also on the bottom of the structure that Trevor sent you.
What struck me in the input?
What did I find helpful, unhelpful in my moment of transitioning out of the spiritual exercises.
So, we will take our usual break now, and then we will come back at quarter past the hour. So, wherever you are, quarter past the hour, we will come back together to go into our groups. Enjoy your break.
Trevor: I think we’re all back together. Welcome back.[00:56:00]
This is a time when we can take our conversation, hopefully one level deeper as we offer comments and observations and wonderings and questions, particularly as they arise out of your own reflection upon the input and your own reflection upon your own participation in the group. What may be bubbling away at the moment that we can engage together that would be helpful for the group.
Russell: So, friends, if I can just remind you to put yourselves on mute.
Trevor: Hi Denise,
Denise: Okay. I wasn’t sure if my hand got up there or not. We had a really great [00:57:00] conversation discussion in our group and it brought a wondering for me, as far as the continuing prayer methods and connection with the exercises with others as we talked about community. I’m just wondering if others have explored ways like to continue with a small group of people that have gone through the exercises, doing a Lectio weekly or monthly or what have people done in a way of continuing connecting in community with the exercises.
Trevor: Oh, thank you for bringing that on. I wonder if I can just put that out there in terms of your own experience ongoing. It would almost be, Denise some kind of support as well for our own ongoing journey, but doing it collectively, communally in a small group, maybe in person or on Zoom.
I remember Diana brought up something similar two weeks [00:58:00] ago around, this—just that we’re not on our own in this. Any experiences to share in this regard, particularly around ongoing practices within the Ignatian tradition, with maybe “like minded” companions—anything that we can learn from in the group could be helpful.
Adri-Marie: Trevor, I might add. So, what is curious that sometimes—and I would be curious to know how many of you in the group—this fire of the exercises in you is so special that sometimes you have a deep desire to take others through it. So, I suspect that is [00:59:00] one way, and I think quite a few of you in the group have experienced that because it was so life changing for ourselves, we might have a desire to learn how to walk alongside others as one way.
On a very, almost a light way it really is so unique to every person. Some might not have any kind of Ignatian exposure beforehand; some might have a lot. So. I’m finding it increasingly more that people don’t have a lot of exposure, and then even something small connecting them with the App of Pray As You Go or an Examen App that kind of feels that you’re part of something larger. Already it has some gravity to it.
I’ve also noticed that people who have gone through it often do then come back and ask, or there’s a nice connection to link them to [01:00:00] other people that you know, who do retreats. It’s almost like this, going on retreat, even if it wasn’t daily life, becomes a part.
I think almost the regular, the kind of rhythm of life that you learned in the exercise is a key part of just walking alongside that transition into week five. it’s really just that discernment of then what can be this new rhythm. It is so unique. It’s very normal for people to be so fatigued that they actually just want a bit of a timeout of all of these things. That might also happen. I’m not sure if I’m actually answering the question, but that came to heart.
Trevor: Denise, the one thing that came to my mind is, I think that one of the consequences of the Ignatian experience often is people develop a [01:01:00] capacity or a competency or an ability to be able to speak about their experience of prayer or of God or of Scripture and I think that it can be quite a special thing to facilitate or to help facilitate groups, which I think some people call them faith sharing groups. They’re not discussion groups. There’s a simple gathering around Scripture, a rhythm of reflecting maybe on Scripture together, and then sharing out of the silence with each other. I think there can be quite a simple, almost faith sharing way that we can facilitate, even for people maybe who’ve not had spiritual exercise journey.
I think we can bring that [01:02:00] just very low-key facilitation of what one could call “faith sharing” as opposed to discussion or whatever other kind of groups you can get. It’s so inclusive because everyone has an experience. You don’t have to have lots of pre-knowledge of the Bible or theology to participate.
There’s a simple passage of scripture. We’re going to read it a few times. We’re going to reflect on it together. We’re going to select a word or a phrase. We’re going to be quiet with it. And when we’re ready, we’re going to share what goes on inside of us and everyone can do that. I find it to be a faith sharing, which almost leads into life sharing and can be enormously supportive for folk.
Any other folk that would like to [01:03:00] respond to Denise’s particular concern? Maybe from your own experience of the kind of group that has an Ignatian flavor as you gather.
Tracy: This is actually not mine, but I’m sharing somebody else’s thing that they do. They have a community group that meets, and they just go through the prayer of Examen together in a very Ignatian prayerful way. They meet once a week as a small group of people who just simply do that.
Then I would say to Trevor’s point, I do it kind of incognito in different group settings that I’m a part of. I like to start us off almost [01:04:00] always on the practice of how God looks at us, and whether that’s with staff members or it’s people within my work settings, when I have a group of people together that are praying people, I’m always integrating Ignatian prayer into it and I just don’t tell them. It’s not necessary. I think it’s just living into it that’s been a gift to me in all the spaces.
Trevor: Thank you. Thanks, Trace. Denise, thanks for putting that onto our radar screen. I think it’s really critical—a kind of communal experience of some of the Ignatian toolkit. Hi, Shelley.
Shelley: Hi, Trevor. We did talk in our group about making space for the possibility of sharing some of the intimate [01:05:00] encounters and experiences we had, as you’re winding down the exercises with a safe soul friend. We’ll say spiritual friend, almost as a way of bridging into the fifth week. This is one of the things I’ve experienced and want to take forward. That has to be a really safe friend. Many folks live in community, and so we just played with that. If someone cannot connect with what you’re sharing, that could be very hard but is there a way you would like to take this into a few or a safe friendship.
I had the opportunity to do that in my experience of the exercises and it’s been rich because it’s a friend I do life with, and that’s a rich possibility should that be something someone has. Yeah.
Trevor: I just want to make sure that I’ve got what [01:06:00] you’re saying. As someone giving the exercises. are you saying that there could be an encouragement to the person that you’re giving the exercise to, to think of someone who is a safe person in their life, who could perhaps be a witness to some of the gifts and the graces that they’ve received in their life?
Shelley: Exactly. Yeah, and with great wisdom, right? Because these are tender things. Yeah. And if you’re given the grace of having a friend who has been through the exercises, wonderful. But yes, is there someone you’d like to offer some of your experiences as a witness?
Trevor: Thank you. Thanks Shelley. Any other [01:07:00] observations, wonderings, reflections? Hi, Melanie.
Melanie: Hi Trevor, so good to be together. It’s not really a question. As usual, our group was full of conversation, and we got cut off because we ran out of time, and we were finishing up. Kathi was sharing some of the ways she makes the transition through to the fifth week and beyond. If you don’t mind, Kathi, I’d love to hear you speak more about what you got cut off saying.
Trevor: Please, Kathi.
Kathi: Yeah. Okay. So, I try to allow people to do some kind of a creative Examen. When I ended my exercises about 10 or so years ago, I actually had four different [01:08:00] stations in the room where I put the significant things of each week on my stations and we went around to each of the stations and just savored the gifts and the graces of that, and that was that was very special.
So, I offer a creative way. I had a musician once and she wrote a song, and I had someone that gave pictures that illustrated the thing. I allow them in their own creative ways to do an Examen with me. I try to, if possible, have a meal together with the person at the end. We go to a nice wine farm or somewhere and have a meal together.
One of my spiritual directors in my last session with him—it wasn’t the exercises, but a spiritual director when I moved away knelt down next to me and put his hand on me and said a prayer of blessing. That was very significant for me. So, I like to also do a prayer of blessing over someone as [01:09:00] they enter into the fifth week. I don’t know. Did I leave anything out?
Melanie: That sounds good.
Trevor: This could be a surprise to Anne. I can’t see on my screen, but Anne often ends off the exercises in a very helpful way. Anne, if you are okay….. I always think you do it so well.
Anne: Thank you, and you, my co-partner in that. My exercitant and I make an appointment with Trevor, and it can be with anyone. We go and Trevor, in his way just asks really relevant questions of the person who’s just made the exercises, and it’s helpful for them to focus and kind of sort through their experience.
Then Trevor asks me questions. How was it for you to take [01:10:00] this person through? What moments would you like to speak about? That’s how we go, and then we end that with communion together. It’s a really beautiful way of ending. It’s significant. It’s a kind of a marker. Thanks, Trevor.
Trevor: No, well, it’s your initiative.
Becky: This is Becky, and I’ll just share a little bit about how I end when I companion people through the exercises. I always have a full session that I allow my retreatant to really reflect on—I call it “gather the goodness” of what she found meaningful and helpful for her as she moves out.
We actually go through [01:11:00] almost week by week. I start way back before that, but in a framework of one time as the last time together to honor the goodnesses that God has shaped within her as she moved through and allow her reflection from the weeks. Also allowing her to reflect upon and say aloud the ways in which she has changed, but also her understanding and image of God and relationship has changed through the exercises.
I also allow her to reflect and process the particular bits and pieces of her prayer life that have now been so ingrained. What parts are super important and meaningful to her that she wants to be able to carry forward with her? And then I [01:12:00] allow her to just move all that. What are the fresh awakenings, as you said today, Trev about what are the fresh awakenings in you? How does she want to carry this forward? What is important and meaningful to her?
And then also. I do take some time, and I share with her my reflections of how I have seen God work and move in her life. To know that some other person has seen God move and they’ve changed is a very important significant time. For me, it always is, so I assume it is for them.
And then I always end with a prayer of gratitude and blessing them as they move forward. But I actually take it as a separate, dedicated time at the end of all [01:13:00] the people I companion.
Trevor: Thanks, Becky. So, it’s almost on the one hand, from the retreatants point of view, to use your language, a gathering of all the goodnesses and on your side, offering your witness to how you have witnessed God’s presence and activity in her life. And those two things coming together in a whole session that you set aside for this.
Becky: It seems a really meaningful way to end.
Trevor: Thank you. It certainly sounds like that.
Russell: Thank you. Trevor, I see that MaddyChristine put in the chat that Kathi recommended also the book Rooted in Love by Margaret Blackie. So just to draw people’s attention to the [01:14:00] chat.
Trevor: Yes, thank you. A special book from South Africa! Any other wonderings, reflections on the input? Either on the three ways of prayer, or also the transition and movement into fifth week? Hi Monica.
Monica: Hello. I was wondering. You kind of alluded to it in your input, but is it important to maybe warn or try to lessen expectations with the retreatant about their prayer life after the retreat? Just to normalize it and not to expect that the intensity of what they’ve been doing will continue and that’s okay, so they [01:15:00] aren’t frustrated or disappointed.
I did the 30 day and so obviously I knew it would be way different when I went back into daily life, but I know that often happens when you’re in retreat and you have this great experience and then you feel a bit lost and feel something’s wrong with you or you have these expectations that you can pray like you did before and you don’t. So, is there a way to help with that?
Trevor: Yeah, thank you. So much is running through my mind. I think you’re underlining for me, first of all, the importance of a conversation about it—that there’s some sense of acknowledging the obvious reality that we’re shifting into a new phase and prayer is maybe going to be different. I think the acknowledgement of that reality can be a gift [01:16:00] for the exercitant.
I do think that some kind of reflection upon what—and I don’t want to slip into a deadly legalism here—but some kind of reflection upon what may be a life-giving rhythm of life may look like. I think that could be helpful in a very basic kind of way. Is there a way in which I can
shape my life so that my relationship with God can deepen? I think some kind of exploration of that within the realities of the other person’s living situation, can be such [01:17:00] a gift. I don’t want to use the word rule of life; it sounds so heavy. I think it’s in that kind of conversation that we can come to some kind of realism around expectation.
I’m wondering also, and I’m dependent upon all the other mentors here and colleagues. I wonder also about the wisdom of Ignatius when he said, sometimes you’re not going to have time for anything, but the one thing you don’t throw out of the window is to have some time for daily reflection—some time for an Examen and I wonder if there’s just some hard won wisdom in that. There are going to be times when I’m not going to be able to get to prayer at all. Can I manage some kind of life-[01:18:00] giving reflection and Examen upon the day?
So yeah, Monica, I don’t know if what I’m saying Is connecting at all with your concern. I think that’s what’s on my mind at the moment. I’m not sure whether my colleagues or mentors would like to weigh in on this one as well. I think at the crux of your concern is the whole management of expectation so that there isn’t a major letdown and sense of disappointment and discouragement. I think that’s at the heart of what you’re saying and wondering about.
Could we have some wisdom from each other here as well? What has helped you, perhaps just to work against [01:19:00] some possible discouragement or disappointment that I’m not praying as I once did.
Adri-Marie: Trevor, I might add and just echo, I think what you’ve offered already. It’s so unique as each person is so unique and rewrites the exercises. That uniqueness continues in the kind of formal exit, but I think this encouragement that you might in some way transition to week five, but the exercises continue with you.
And I think all of you will acknowledge that it keeps working with you. It’s like a momentum that continues, and as you’ve been cheerleading them up to now; just [01:20:00]that word of encouragement that God will continue meeting you where you’re at, and a few people have sometimes experienced a dry season. That is all right.
For some, they keep soaking in with God’s divine love. It’s almost a return to disposition days of a soaking in God’s love for some. For some they finally read that book that’s been on their heart the whole time, or they start living into the big discernment they might have made.
I often find the distinction between if I continue guiding the person or if my walk with them stops. Sometimes that differs. So, when I continue walking with a person/ it’s easier to pick up, to meet them the way they are. I have experimented a little bit [01:21:00] with the two previous people I finished that I don’t guide, to just say, if you’d like to, we could perhaps just a month after we finished, just have a little bit of a check in, not as continuous as a special direction, but then sometimes if there is something coming up too.
Just again, a deep encouragement that people also finish at different paces. If you find that your most enthusiastic person suddenly just runs out of energy; that’s okay. You might be thinking, what about our closing ceremony and I was planning this for them, and they might just say, no, I’m okay. Next week can be, we can be done. That’s also okay.
You might find an unexpected person needs a few weeks to land, [01:22:00] once to soak deeply in that overview of the whole journey. So typically, after the contemplation, you might go into review and just gently land. If they do a crash landing with you, then you say, God, how do we deal with it? That’s also okay.
So, for me, it’s a distinct whether I’m continuing to guide them or not. But just again, what Trevor said, just small questions like what forms of prayer would you like to continue using or which ways of prayer that you’ve used before would you perhaps like to return to; like the question Trevor mentioned about, has there been a book on your heart, or a community? People have the clues.
Trevor: Thanks Adri-Marie. I think also what I’m hearing you say is like an underlining of the particularities and the uniqueness of [01:23:00] each person and being aware of that. Diana, good to be with you.
Diana: Yeah, I’m hearing that each person is unique, and our role as directors would be to help them to say goodbye. What have you found helpful for yourself as directors to close this relationship off? I don’t know if you close it off or for an ending.
Trevor: Thank you. I want to phrase the question and only for the sake of my own understanding. What have we as givers of the exercises found helpful for ourselves to bring this particular relationship to an end of giving the exercises to this person? Ah, that’s a good question; I find that a very helpful question.
I’ve got some thoughts [01:24:00] that I’d like to share but before I respond, if I may, Diana, again, ask if there’s any wisdom from the group here that we can maybe catch and share.
Anne: Trevor, if I may, it might be a little bit of a shift, but I remember having ended my exercise, there was a sense of, I’m not praying “right “now because if you do something for three weeks, it becomes a habit. And so that “way of praying” had become a habit for me, and I felt a bit bereft. I didn’t know how to carry forward. My director and I had a bit of a discussion, but I wasn’t clear on how to move forward.
I’m just thinking about how excited I’m feeling about how Ignatius offers us such [01:25:00] beautiful ways of praying—embodying our prayer, beholding God—and so there’s a sense in me of drawing my exercitant’s attention to that in an exciting way. You’ve been used to this kind of structured way of praying, and that might be helpful for you, and I think you get a sense with your people anyway. But I also am really aware of the tiredness at the end of the exercise. And so, there is a bit of excitement in me about presenting these different ways of embodying your prayer. Beholding. I can just imagine offering that as a way.
Trevor: Thanks, Anne, almost widening the landscape of prayer at this moment for them and that, that exploration can continue. Thank you.
Diana, I wonder if I [01:26:00] can offer to you the image, if I may of what “hat” I wear in my relationship to the person. I really do feel quite strongly, and again, I would appreciate comments by colleagues. I feel quite strongly that when the exercises end, I take off my hat of being the person who gave them the exercises.
So, if for example, I have ongoing relationship with this person or our paths cross, I’m not wearing the hat of exercise giver in those informal interactions. I have found that very, very important for myself, so I don’t carry with me an ongoing sense of responsibility for this person’s growth [01:27:00] in Christ or relationship with God. I’m not their spiritual director.
So, I find whatever hat that may be, I revert back to being a casual acquaintance or someone that I bump into at meetings, or I might even end up on the same committee with or working with, but the image of “I take off the hat” of exercise giver.
I think the other thing I want to say is there’s sometimes quite a grief. I find myself getting very close to people. iI’s been a remarkable privilege of being a witness in their life, and I’m not expecting that to continue. That’s part of “taking off the hat,” and there’s also a sense of I’m really going to miss this weekly meeting with someone that [01:28:00] I’ve really come to care for, and who I’ve had the privilege of accompanying. I think that for me is something I process with a supervisor—my own sense of yeah, I miss that person. I really got to like them and value them and appreciate them and there are feelings. So those are two thoughts that I have directly related to, what we can do for ourselves as we end off the exercises.
Adri-Marie: Yeah, I might add. I think one or two people mentioned this idea of blessing. I don’t do it myself, but I know of somebody who writes a hand note, a unique blessing to that person, something about also honoring what they’ve given you as a small gift of appreciation for being allowed on the [01:29:00] journey.
I can’t echo supervision enough because your supervision group or supervisor really is the person who listened into the journey. So, to be asked, what is the gift that they gave you? And what did you notice and what do you want to take forth to your own spiritual direction? Or to be asked those questions by also a group that witnessed you or a supervisor that had witnessed you. We’ll talk about that a little bit more next week, but whatever you do, try and find good supervision.
Trevor: Thank you, Adri-Marie.
Russell: We have maybe space for one more and then I think we will bring our time to an end.[01:30:00]
Trevor: I just have one more thought, Diana, and it’s been sparked by Adri-Marie. I think it can really be helpful, and this could be either in one’s own spiritual direction or with a supervisor that I think taking someone through the exercises does not leave us unchanged. We are affected deeply by that intensity of interaction over a long time and maybe it is really important for me to be in touch with how my own awareness has grown and how I have been affected by this person’s journey and obviously not with that person, but with either my own companion, accompanier, or supervisor.
So, thank you, Adri-Marie for sparking that thought in me. [01:31:00] How’s that landing, Diana?
Diana: That was really helpful. Thank you.
Trevor: Okay.
Russell: So, thank you, Trevor. It’s the second time I’ve heard you claim that Ignatius was a covert Methodist. We’ll discuss that afterwards, but thanks for this evening and I’m going to ask Adri-Marie to end for us in prayer.
Adri-Marie: In the spirit of the second form of prayer that was mentioned tonight and also, because Trevor mentioned the Serenity Prayer, that is the prayer I’m going to share for us. I will put it on the closing screen, and I will just let you read it in silence for yourself. And I’d like to encourage you to just make a note of perhaps a word [01:32:00] or phrase that catches you, and when I stop the screen share, I will just say, Amen. [01:33:00]
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, the sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.
Amen. Wonderful to be with you all. If you’re celebrating Thanksgiving, have a wonderful time. Otherwise, see you for our second last session next week. [01:34:00]
Russell: Thank you, everybody. Have a great week and all the best for Thanksgiving for those who are celebrating. We’ll keep you in our prayers. God bless you all.